This is a bit crazy

I am tired.  I just spent the last two hours trying to keep up to the incredible speed with which we are trying to play a couple of the songs for our concert.  I am beginning to ask myself why am I doing this.  Is this supposed to be fun?  Right now it does not feel good at all.  Feels as if my ego has just been nicely flattened like a rotten tomato against a brick wall. 

If I keep this up I will either have no ego left or I will learn how to play this instrument. 

Brandenburg Concerto – here we come. 

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Goings on

Around here:

– Me plunking away at my music.  Big year end concert on Sunday at 7:30 pm at the EA Rawlinson Centre.  You are welcome to come if you do not heckle me!

– Sara ordered this fantastic leg machine thingy.  She thinks it will work magic.  Then she can bake cookies and eat them too.  She likes to bake tooooooo much.  And I like to eat it – not good. 

– There has not been a lot of exercise done by me this week.  Too much concentration on the music.  An hour of practice a night eats up the evening time. 

– going to be going down to Regina for a course on Saturday.  Conscious Sedation.  That is actually what I was doing today.  Maybe I should aim towards more unconscious sedation to keep the noise levels down.  It is tempting to send all these kids to the OR for general anesthesia but then our waiting lists get too long.

What with everything going on this is going to be one busy weekend coming up!

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It was a loud morning

Kids sedated with oral versed still cry.  They cry for the freezing, for the bite block, for putting on the rubber dam, for the fillings and for the extractions.  They lie there all wrapped up tight and cry for that.  But we get the work done and mostly they are still.

It was a loud morning this morning but we got everyone done.  It is hard to believe that such a loud morning actually went well. 

Except for this small pain inside my head – upper left brain.  Coffee and ibuprofen should fix that.

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Wonder

This morning I got into my frosty car to go to work.  It isn’t so cold that I feel that I have to warm it for many minutes before I drive.  And reminded of Earth Day, it is better for the environment if I don’t start it so long before. 

I got behind the wheel and looked out through the frosted window.  The window was covered with the most intricate pattern of crystals.  I recognize that, for me, seeing such beauty stirs in me a sense of wonder. 

I do hope it warms up soon.  Frost on the window is beautiful but also means I have to clear it off to drive.  I am ready for the wonder that spring brings.  It is beginning; buds on the willows, geese returned, other bird songs are beginning, the sun rises before I leave home for work so that I drive into the sunrise each morning now. 

I need that sense of wonder.  It makes me more alive and gives me a sense of belonging in the whole scheme of things.  It helps me to appreciate how I am made and who made me.  Wonder seems to be one of those little graces one receives from God – evidences of his care and love.  It keeps me from getting too serious and full of myself and it wards off the bitterness that can accumulate from frustrations that I also face daily.

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Prodigality

Last night as the group of women I meet with met we read a short reflection on the “prodigality” of God. This comes from the story of the prodigal son but the author spoke of how the father in the story is the real prodigal. He welcomes back this son who has come from the pig sties – likely smelling like it too – with open arms – which may mean a huge embrace for this smelly son. The father lavishes love and acceptance on this son who messed up so badly, welcomes him back with a huge party, even using some of the resources that would rightfully now be part of the older son’s inheritance. (No wonder the older brother is a bit miffed)

To the author “prodigality” = lavishness, giving excessive gifts, abundance that is given to un-meriting children.

She also reminds us of the story Jesus told in Matthew 20 of the workers in the vineyard. He tells the story of the owner of the vineyard who pays all his workers as if they worked a full day and when they protest he says, “Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?”

The story Dixie tells over at her blog of receiving a gift – out of the blue – that cheers her day reminded me of the reading from last night. It reminded me of the daily gifts that God lavishes on us that have little to do with their utility and certainly are not given because we merit them: the vivid colours of the sky at dawn and at sunset, the joy that music stirs in us, as do sounds of nature (the call of the geese at this time of year remind me of coming spring), the myriad shades of green and brown with splashes of color thrown in, the varieties of species.

We were reminded last night of our need to follow God’s example in this regard. Jesus lavished love on outcasts, prostitutes and sinners, sacrificing all to offer them a way to freedom. We need to be willing to risk falling prey to the occasional con artist in our attempts to care for people in need. We need to learn to love with the kind of abandon with which the Father loves.

O God, forgive us our miserliness when it comes to caring for others. Give us generous hearts, non-judgmental minds and open hands.

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Beautiful day

It was beautiful walking along the riverbank this afternoon – at least walking away from the wind.  The wind still bites walking into it.

I am amazed over and over again by the bravery of the Canada Geese.  They return before the river even has a hope of thawing, sail right on in and skid to a stop on the frozen surface.  In pairs.  What a honeymoon they have!  Up here we don’t mind the geese so much since they tend to keep away from people places.  They have enough wild places to settle in to I suppose.  I hear that down in Regina they are already making pests of themselves on Wascana lake and in the parks. 

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Royal visit

I had a royal visit from a tiny princess last night.  We had tea together and her dad watched this ridiculous show about demolition derbies from southern Ontario.  What a crazy weird bunch!  Didn’t know we had such backwoods boys in this fair land!  The old guy sure needs a set of teeth.

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