The party was a success. Two boys ate cake and opened presents and were happy. The weather held out long enough for the kids to run around in the yard for awhile. Long enough for them to make my mosquito zapper disappear. I found it this morning hanging by its cord over the waterfall in the pond. Maybe it is better to leave it on its very short cord than to hang it up with a longer one that could have let it be tipped into the pond.
The house was quite literally full of people. Last count I did came to 38.
We had enough food, two cakes sufficed and there are even leftovers.
Part way through the party Christian and the band showed up – on their way up to Elk Ridge so they joined in for a few minutes as well.
Today was incredibly quiet.
R and A left camping with two of the boys. I finished a late paper and sent it off. Then after lunch I lay down for a nap. And I slept. Right through the come and go anniversary tea for friends. I felt bad for missing it but I guess I had been partied out and needed the sleep.
I have decided that I have a strange character. I am such an introvert and yet I love people. That is where my problem arises. I panic when I am thinking about people coming and filling up all my space and time with their energy. Their energy seems to mean that I must be willing to be drained by theirs.
I am rejuvenated by silence and by being alone. If I don’t have some periods of intense and prolonged solitude, I find myself panicking more quickly, coming to a place where I can’t respond to others in any way that reflects how much I really do like them.
This summer is a summer for people. I love it but it seems as if all my free time is full of doing – going – providing. All things a grandmother should love. I am anticipating a tiring summer. I may end up loving it – and probably will. My home is full of love, food and good times. But inside I am wishing to run away – to a quiet place where I could just sit, no one else would set my agenda, I could read all night or sleep all night if I wished. Maybe there will be time for this in … But I can’t forsee when this time will be. My fall is even filling up. So I panic.
Who will I become, what will I be? I will have to learn to snatch bits of time and hoard them for my spirit’s health. Maybe I will just have to make the seconds of solitude count for more. Each moment will have to be savoured and the sweetness of it mined for the small drops of energy they provide. Perhaps I will become a storehouse of moments – moments I choose to hold silently and live into as fully as I can.
I guess I will see what is left at the end of this summer. I have always found this space a good thing. Something I do in silence and alone. There are just fewer moments to come here too.
Do you know how procrastination complicates life and makes it rather embarrassing to finally turn in the overdue work? Coming back to this space feels a bit like that. Badly neglected.
So, in pictures and a few brief words here is what the past month has held – in part. Chicago for another class – Pastoral Care and Counselling. Finishing up my homework this week end.
Chicago was not all about class – visiting friends kept me busy in the evenings.
Then a stop in Toronto on the way back. Saw Niagara for the first time
and got soaked on the Maid of the Mist.
Since getting back, since Father Marcel is visiting us from Belgium, there has been non-stop guests at our house – mostly my own kids who have no fear of showing up at mealtime. We also welcomed a young boarder to our home, a young Chinese guy. There is always room for one more somewhere 🙂
And last weekend I made soup for 160 or so guests at the Soup on Saturday our church hosted. Here I am dishing up the last pot. Made three this size. Good soup too.
Since it was the Canada Day weekend one of our assistants really got into the act. Lloyd was a hit!
And on Canada Day itself we drove up to Prince Albert National Park for the day. We had a good time even though it was pretty cold and windy. Massa was much braver than the little kids who wanted to go in the water till we got right there.
Things may get back to normal – whatever that is – soon. May even begin to write here regularly again. Miracles happen.