I have been stressed and I have survived. The doctor says there seems to be nothing to worry about but that, just in case my heart really does fibrillate every now and then, I should take 81mg of ASA a day. That is a whole lot better than a heart attack.
I think we may have to invest in a treadmill. The short workout on that one today was a better work out than 30 minutes on the exercise bike. Plus no sore butt from a rigid plastic seat. I think if I want to have a fun older age that I need to make sure I exercise and keep reasonably fit.
This morning I head up to the Stress lab for a stress test. All this is due to the funny heart flutters I had a while back.
I still have occasional flutters but, aside from noticing, the funny feeling, they do not provoke a lot of concern on my part. I guess I will see if they are significant or just passing flutters.
So they are going to stress my heart this morning. Maybe yesterday holding crying squirming fighting children while trying to do fillings would have been a better stress test than walking on a tread mill in calm surroundings.
Ah, well. I guess my stresses would be difficult to duplicate in a lab.
Life seems to be rolling along at a steady fast pace. If there is one thing I could ask for these days it would be time for quiet and solitude. I try to plan for it but it is easy to let the days slip by till it is too late to arrange a weekend away, or I find that the weekend I thought I could take is the one where all my kids are planning to visit. I can’t go running off on them!
Now spring is approaching. Easter is so close and then we will be in the run up till summer.
At the church we have set up some prayer stations. This space often becomes the haven I seek for a few moments in quiet with God. I grab a few moments of quiet when I can get them. Life just does not seem to slow down otherwise to let me take days of time for this. So I will take the moments I have and try to watch for places in my sometimes hectic schedule where I can see God’s presence making itself known. Sometimes it is just a few minutes talking with a staff member going through tough times, a friend who wants to go for coffee or being able to give some help with an essay my daughter is struggling to write. Sometimes it is the wide open loving eyes of my grandson who comes for a visit – love freely given and joyfully accepted.
Right now my quiet is waiting for a patient to get numb, writing this and reflecting on life. This helps me keep my balance too.
Not an ideal way to work up an appetite – have a crying 7 year old puke in your hand just before lunch.
I think motherhood has made me immune to the effects of such events but I almost lost my assistant. We decided to try again another day. Maybe sedation will calm him a bit.
Sure hope so.
For those of you following the progress of Aunty Florence – while I was down in the OR on Friday, the ward called. She was ready to be discharged. So after work, I took her back home to the care home. Then went to arrange for the changes in medications. Saturday, I was in Saskatoon but I called and she seems to be doing well.
However with our frigid temperatures I decided we would not tempt fate and have her come out to church this morning. It was such a cold wind that it chilled a person to the bone – and her bones are frail enough on a warm day!
Yesterday was the third meeting with my supervisor in spiritual direction out of the four meetings required for the course I am taking. Only one left to meet the requirements. Already I am hoping that the relationship we have begun to build will continue.
One of the things I appreciate the most is the encouragement she gives me. Perhaps she is one of those people with the gift of encouragement. Whatever – that is what happens.
I can remember the first meeting when there were four potential supervisors in the room and I was discussing what I needed with them. Something about Marijka seemed to say “Choose me. We could do this together.” That connection drew me to her and, as well, she was the most accommodating for times we could meet.
It has been a good thing. Trust has grown between us and in that trust I have been able to discuss openly where I feel I’ve listened well and where I have not; where I have fallen into my personal pitfall – that tendency to need to fix things, to make it all better, and where my own insecurities hovering close to the surface have kept me from paying attention to God.
I don’t know that I have ever before experienced quite this kind of relationship – encouraging, sharing, teaching and leading me into this new role that I am being trained for. It is like having a private tutor. But better.
Wendy tagged me with a meme – so here goes.
Six non-important things about myself:
- When I am looking through a magazine I usually start at the back. And I have no idea why.
- I have a huge fear of heights. Especially high bridges. Driving over them makes me feel as if I am going to drive over the edge so I keep my eyes fixed on the car or lane immediately in front. Walking over such a bridge would probably make me sick. Flying for me, however, is perfectly fine.
- Back in the 60’s when going braless was a sign of impending feminism, my girlfriend and I decided to do it while we were the head cooks at our church camp. I doubt that anyone noticed. We were both skinny and flat chested.
- I do not like to have to take any medication in liquid form. I do not like to have to taste stuff like that. Unfortunately, most liqueurs also have the same effect on me and remind me vaguely of cough syrup.
- I have a built in navigational sense that lets me, most times, retrace my route to a place I have visited before. It is best if I was doing the driving but most times I can sense the way somehow even if I could not tell anyone else how to get to the destination.
- I love shoes. I love the feel of good leather and the comfort of a good fit. I love unique colours and style. Most of all I love it when a good shoe has both comfort and style and comes in my size.
I won’t name names but if you want to do this consider yourself tagged.