Lately I have felt a bit like a lump of clay waiting for the potter to decide on where to squeeze me, prod me and shape me.  It is hard to wait ’cause I think I should have some kind of shape.  I have had a certain kind of shape for a long time and somehow it has begun to fit me poorly.  I am sort of waiting for a make-over I guess.  Maybe the make-over has begun – just no final shape yet and I am growing impatient with not knowing exactly for what purpose I will take shape.  Which is kind of stupid since I am not the potter.  I guess the time spent now being shaped, which I am sure is going on even if I don’t feel much, will result in what the potter wants. 

I hope.  It is hard to live in a liminal space. 

I don’t want to live passively, as if nothing matters to me.  I want to live expectantly even if I don’t know what is coming next.  Learning to trust the potter with the design. 

That is very figurative, I know.  Waiting is hard.  Waiting for things to move me towards retirement, towards new roles after that.  Not knowing, waiting for pieces to fall into place, attempting to give some pieces a push.  This in between place is a hard place to live.

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0 responses to “Re-shaping

  1. Alecia

    waiting is difficult when we don’t know where we are headed. Yet, knowing God is with us, beside us, behind us, and before us, who better is there to show us the way. I am waiting with you and expecting a make-over. I hope it doesn’t hurt too
    much. Praying God will work out all the details of your life.