I officially have droopy eyes.
Yesterday I had an appointment with one of our local eye surgeons. I like the office. Very efficient and nicely laid out and decorated. The assistant was also very good. She did all the preliminary work including a test that I had never had before to check my peripheral vision – to see how much my droopy lids impede my vision.
The test was pretty cool. Looking into this dome on a computer, concentrating on a yellow light while little white lights flickered around on the periphery. I had to click a button every time I saw one of them. I was surprised at how much concentration it took to keep my eye focused on the yellow light and not let my eyes wander to follow the little flickering lights.
I guess it turns out that my left eye does have some loss of peripheral vision. Now I can get this fixed and it can be billed to our medical coverage. It actually is a family problem so I have been anticipating this for a few years.
Now I wait. In about three to six months I will get rid of these annoying droopy lids.
I was told that I could end up fairly black and blue. That should put the finishing touches on fear for a certain group of my patients! I foresee needing a bit of time off.
A week ago while I was in the middle of my photography course I got a call on my cell phone – Sara. “Did you have an appointment to get your hair done,” she asked. My hairdresser had called my home when I didn’t show up. And, yes, I completely forgot the appointment.
Monday, I arranged to send her a small bouquet of flowers. I know what it is like to be stood up for an appointment!
Today, I was fortunate enough to get to see her. I needed to badly. My grey was really showing and what woman wants her grey to show. I guess I shouldn’t be so vain but if I went grey it would add at least a good ten years to my appearance and it would look mousey and blah.
She always offers me coffee while I sit waiting for the colour to take effect. With cream. Probably whitener most times. But today – there was a shot of Baileys in there. Delicious.
One of my regular practices is praying the prayers of The Divine Hours by Phyllis Tickle especially the morning office and the Compline. I like the regularity of these prayers. This morning part of the request for presence read, “Our God will come and will not keep silence.”
It is good to be in the presence of God in the morning. Lately it has seemed like silence many mornings even though I know he is there; I count on him being there even if my feelings don’t sense him.
The last couple of days I have brought a bunch of my concerns to God. He has his ways of making me pay attention. He does not keep silence when we come to him. But, I need time and quiet to hear him.
I have always been a person of action – doing things, being busy with good things, helping out where I can. But in the past few years, God seems to be drawing me into another sort of relationship with him. More quiet, more listening for his voice before I act. I need to learn how to operate and how to order my life for this new relationship. I think that I am still the same person but when I was younger contemplation and quiet were not taught to me as ways to do the will of God – not that they were bad, just that Christians were supposed to do good things; put our faith into action. I think God is bringing me back to a more balanced place. It is a new way of looking at what I do with my time, learning to say no to some things, asking for more help with others. Learning these sorts of things can be a bit painful. Right now I am too busy and I need to work hard at freeing myself from some of the big demands on my time. I have to look hard at how I function and who I am and who I want to be.
It is tough. Sometimes it means I won’t blog as much. This is something I enjoy but it is not my first priority. I want to be sure to have enough time to know my grandchildren. I want time to spend with friends and my children. I have to have enough time to spend with God – a need as well as a desire.
It is hard to understand how a year can go by so quickly. A year ago he was brand new. He was just getting his name. Zakaryia. So tiny. Had to be encouraged to suck.
A year later – he recognises food and thinks anything edible must be for him. He loves to get his hands right in there and is catching on quickly to holding a spoon.
Happy Birthday Zakaryia!