I have been getting to know my grandson – one good thing that has come out of these days of broken relationships. Yesterday and last night we spent a lot of time together. And he had a good time. A week ago he would have spent a lot more time crying.
I also am beginning to learn first hand that family gatherings are hard times for those in the grieving process. Absences are magnified and hurts are all too close to the surface. In spite of family being there to support, there are times when we can’t. We can’t take away pain. We go on with our celebrations and in the midst of celebration pain becomes magnified for the hurting ones. They do not want to spoil the day for everyone so they stay away. So David stayed home, alone for Thanksgiving. Kieran went with us over to his Great-grandmother’s place.
It was kind of cool, actually in some ways, that the celebration moved over to our house in the evening and the guys of the family gathered around David. And then some friends of his called and he got to go and spend some time with them.
Meanwhile Grandma babysat again.
A couple of things struck me about the relationship between Kieran and me. I want to get to know him better. I want him to know that I love him. I know that if I am going to make this clear to him I can’t just say it; I can’t stay up on the adult plane of events and expect him to “get” the fact that I love him and want to know him. I have to get down on his level when I want to play with him. So I have spent a lot of time sitting on the floor, crawling around as he plays cars, picking him up to sit beside me so we can read or do puzzles. I have to. Otherwise he won’t feel my enjoyment in his play. He won’t know that he has my undivided attention. He won’t know that I want to play with him, be with him and love him. He’s got to get to know me and he’s got to learn to trust that I love him.
There is a lot in this grandmother/grandchild relationship that reminds me of God and myself. Can you imagine if he had not come down to our level? He actually got down here and played in the stuff that makes up our lives. And he has shown me many times that he is right down here beside me working through the stuff that puzzles me right now. So I trust him – I am learning to.