Monthly Archives: May 2005

Home for the weekend

I am home for the weekend with few other demands on my time than:
– grocery shopping.  Have’t done a real shopping trip in too long.  I end up hurriedly shopping for milk and bread and stuff too many evenings if I don’t do a major shop once a week.
– finish setting up the prayer room.  This is fun but I have quite a few things left to do.  And it is spring clean up day at the church too.
– spend a bit of time working in my back yard.  It is still too cold at night to plant anything but I would like to be ready to plant when the weather gets warm.  Summer comes so quickly here that if the weather is rainy on the weekend when I am able to work in the yard I can miss planting season altogether.  This summer I want to get the yard looking sort of good.

That is probably enough for the day.  If I have extra time there is always laundry and housework.  Yuck!!

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Strange Sights

Getting up early lets me have some quiet time and gets my day off to a good start.  And getting up early lets me see some interesting things early in the morning – deer running by, flocks of geese lifting off the river.  The day can start out with a beautiful sunrise and an hour later, when everyone else is getting up, be clouded over and gloomy. 

But today?  If I had slept in for half an hour longer, I would have missed the sight of snow on the roof.

I know it is Saskatchewan and it can snow anytime.  Just the same it was 21 C yesterday. 

 

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More on Ruthless Trust

Brennan Manning sums up his book pretty well in the last few pages when he says:

            “Ruthless trust is an unerring sense, way deep down, that beneath the surface agitation, boredom, and insecurity of life; it’s going to be all right.  Ill winds may blow, more character defects may surface, sickness may visit, and friends will surely die; but a stubborn, irrefutable certainty persists that God is with us and loves us in our struggle to be faithful.   A nonrational, absolutely true intuition perdures that there is something unfathomably big in the universe (kabod), something that points to Someone who is filled with peace and power, love and undreamed of creativity – Someone who inevitably will reconcile all things in himself.

            …Why does our trust offer such immense pleasure to God?  Because trust is the pre-eminent expression of love.  Thus, it may mean more to Jesus when we say, “I trust you,” than when we say, “I love you.”

            …”Lord Jesus, I trust you; help my lack of trust.”  (p.180,181)

And my response to this book?  Well, it was timely; reading it at a time when I find myself questioning what God is doing in me and my family; finding trust difficult since nothing seems to work out the way I think it should.  Asking “So does God really love me when bad stuff happens?”  Intellectually and experientially I know what the answer is and hang onto that knowledge when there are no positive feelings.

Trust, ruthless trust?  That is hard.  That means trusting when the future is unknown and when looking back I am confronted by numerous mistakes; when all my efforts at parenting seem to backfire; when my mouth shoots off on me and I hurt people I should be loving. My kids have their problems but it is the stupid things I do that really are hard to live with. Trusting that God actually loves me, and is working out his will in me requires a trust that I struggle with.

I find myself saying to God, “I don’t know exactly what you are doing with me, but go ahead and do whatever it is. Just please make it good because this stuff hurts and I have to trust you that all this is not for nothing.” 

Like Manning’s last words, mine are also “Lord Jesus, I trust you; help my lack of trust.” 

 

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Will work on these pictures

The picture uploads seem to have a glitch.  Have to go to work but I will reload them later.


Update – loaded the pictures by ftping them.  Some glitch in the prairie fusion uploader?  Likely I am doing some little thing wrong but I don’t know what it is.  Anyway – see below for the pictures.

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Of Goldfish and Weddings

I have never been to a wedding before where in order to entice the bride and groom to display their kissing skills, one had to swallow a goldfish live.  But Hey – it was their wedding and they are kind of crazy! 

The mother of the groom did it.  But the mother of the bride(my sister) would not meet her challenge.  I think she said something to the effect of – “We can see them kiss some other time.  There is no way I’m doing that!”

So it was a fairly unique wedding in some ways! 

We had fun.  Lots of relatives and visiting and cousins having fun. 

And this one is especially for her dad. 

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Spring

Today felt like spring.  It was warm and the sun was shining.  The trees are budding out although it is still too early for leaves.  And the days are getting so long.  Almost 9 now and the sky is light still.  Golfing has begun so in the house the TV is silent.  This is my favorite time of year.  The mosquitos are just beginning to show themselves so it is nice to sit outside almost bug free. 

I went for a walk along the river tonight and then just sat for awhile on the riverbank.  Just watching the water; listening to the geese; watching the sunset and the three brilliant white jet streams streaking across the pink orange of the sky.

I’m glad nature is so beautiful.  It helps me hold on to the fact that there is more order and normalcy in my world than I think some days.  Maybe not in the little world of me but out in God’s big universe.  Some days life seems pretty confusing for me and my own reactions seem off kilter.  I react in ways I least want to.  There seem to be too many days when it seems like God has so much work to do on changing me to any sort of likeness of himself.  

It’s a good thing this relationship with him doesn’t depend on my efforts.

 

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Supper with Dad

I have a niece getting married this weekend in Regina.  Her mother, my sister and her husband are working in Egypt for a sabbatical year so are taking a one week leave to get her married off.  They are packing a lot of things into this one week.  Today they all came up to visit my dad who will not be able to travel to Regina to attend the wedding.

We were able to bring supper in and spend a couple of hours with dad.  It was good seeing my little sister again too.

This is going to be a fun wedding.  They have to wait till Bingo is done on Friday night to decorate the hall – I suspect the place is “reasonably priced.  We were told the ceremony would be very reverant and the party after would be very fun.  I think it will be. 

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