I guess tough times are to be expected, but it is no fun. And when my kids are the source of the stuff that brings the hard times it is about the hardest sort of hard times. I think it is because I love them. I have those moments when I probably feel more like killing them (or seriously maiming them at least) but not too deep down I love them so much. So much that I can be hurt by them pretty easily. So I am not going to sit by and watch them slip and slide into stuff they shouldn’t be doing. Right now, I have one who seems to have realized that some stuff is not good and is trying to break free and another who I don’t think realizes just how much and how serious the trouble they are headed towards is.
So I seek words to talk to them with. I want to say things that will get my concern for them across without my getting angry. I want them to know and understand that I don’t want my trust of them to be taken lightly. I don’t want them to think I am a fool that can be easily trumped by deceitful words from them.
I don’t know if I am even doing the right thing. That seems to be the hardest thing about life – not knowing the end result of our words or actions and not being able to go back and do things over if we mess up. Wisdom – what I seek but not always what I demonstrate.
So this has been a rather tough sort of day. And tomorrow I head into a short stretch of single parenting. So if any of you think of praying for me over the next few days, I sure could use it.
Well, I must say that it is good to be home again. Even though the conference was probably one of the most enjoyable I’ve ever been at.
Even hobnobbed with the big guys. Had breakfast with the President of our denomination – Glen Palmberg – and heard some about his recent trip to the Congo. And he encouraged me as I get ready to go. He was overwhelmed by the tremendous needs and the need for us to go back and give them all the support we can. And he talked about the heat and humidity and how it was so draining. I know this is one part of the experience that I won’t escape either. And the endless lines of people coming to present their needs to him for consideration. I probably will have some of that too. What really almost knocked me flat though was when he said to me “…whenI was talking to Condelleeza Rice…” and I thought gee – here is little insignificant me sharing breakfast with someone who really does talk to the “big guys”. But he has such a big heart open to the needs of the Congo. It seems to be God’s timing for us to talk and for me to go back.
Pray for Africa and it’s huge needs. The really powerful nations may bail on their promises of aid to Africa but God won’t. And I hope God’s people won’t.
And hearing Lon Allison bring us messages from God. “Hook is Back. Gotta fly. Gotta crow. Gotta fight.” I think that one will stick with me for a while. Lots of chances to talk to him too.
And I got to share a bit of my story. Where I’ve been, where I’m headed, what I hope to do with this trip to the Congo. I guess even the brief sharing of my personal struggles connected to where other women are at. And although the few minutes I had are not enough to more than scratch the surface it prompted numerous conversations. And I know that a bunch of people will be praying for me as I go.
in Winnipeg. Weather is just about like in Prince Albert before we left. A few minutes of sun, a few minutes of rain, then a few minutes of snow.
I hate to advertise but the Super 8 hotel on Pembina is a nice place to stay. It also just so happens that I was given a suite – complete with microwave. And computer. This is great.
I presented a little bit of what I would be doing going back to the Congo at the service on Friday evening. I was given two minutes – I suspect I took a couple more than that. I am no public speaker. I am not terribly afraid I don’t think. It is just that spoken words are not my thing. I shared briefly what we had done before when we were in the Congo,my struggles coping when we came back, and how God seems to be wanting me back there this summer. And how I think I am finally ready to go.
Today was just a fun day. I spent hours talking to people I haven’t seen for a long time. Then I watched our little TV documentary. I am not sure it actually aired in Saskatchewan. It was actually good. It ended up in the church while we were singing “Lord You Have My Heart” and even the singing sounded good.
Then I went shopping. And to a banquet and program tonight. More good visiting. Tomorrow Lon Allison speaks again and lunch after with a cousin. To the Forks in the afternoon. It should be another fun day.