Monthly Archives: November 2003

Getting back to normal

By yesterday afternoon at the gift opening, the accumulated fatigue of the weekend hit.  All of a sudden I could hardly keep my eyes open.  Had to fill up on caffeine since we still had clean up to finish.  The cars were loaded up with the leftovers, the decorations, all the containers, and carted home.  Most of it sits in my kitchen still. 

When I got home I went and slept, even missing the Grey Cup. 

Now it is Monday evening and I’ve had a full day of work.  The guests have all gone home and things should get back to normal again.  Just have to put some large trays into storage for the next big event which won’t be for awhile – although Grace caught the brides bouquet.  But since she is only 16, I hope I have a few years to get ready for her wedding! 

Now we are working at getting photos printed, etc.  But all of these things can take some time getting done.  Tonight, Leo and I are going out to a movie.  It’s been a long time – in fact, I haven’t yet gone to the new cinema we have had in town for about six months.  We’re going to see Radio.  Our kids say we will like it – and they know just about everything!!

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Happy

Yesterday was a day.  I was tired by the time we got home at 2 am.  And we didn’t even clean up at the hall very much.  But we had a great day and the end result was just what we had wished for – a very happy couple. 

We have so many pictures.  I’ll put some on here in an album later. 

We still have a gift opening today and lots of food to finish up.  Tell you more about it all later too.

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Getting there…

There are still many things to do.  There are still flowers and hair and make-up and dresses and pictures.  And a CD – but I think it is ready.  It will all come together I am sure.  But what a production a wedding can be.  My son seems to have inherited my rather casual approach to organization – that is not always a blessing to those around us.  However, I am sure that the event will happen however it comes off and we will all have a good time.  We may be exhausted but we can always recover later.

So to bed.  Tomorrow is the big day.

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Two days to go

Today was busy and long.  I forgot to change the alarm setting from 5:30 am to a bit later hour so due to our force of habit and the alarm we got up and got going early.  But I did get coffee in bed.  I was supposed to be taking a day off.  Frankly it is easier to go to work but I am so glad I did take the day off.  Otherwise I would probably be back to my anxious state of last night. 

Today was better in spite of all I had to do.  Even the housecleaning went well.  I got most of my errands done and was able to get all the food purchases taken care of. 

Tomorrow will be spent getting decorations, setting them up, cutting all the cold cuts, etc, etc.  Everything needs to be ready by tomorrow night.  We will have a lot to do I suspect. 

We will end tomorrow with wedding rehersal and then supper.  By then we should be able to relax and enjoy ourselves.  I hope that Saturday will be just a great and wonderful day that we can all enjoy. 

I doubt much blogging will get done but we will get our kids started on their married life.  And that will be a joy for all of us. 

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Psalm 39

I think God has to have a sense of humor or maybe it is just good timing..  This psalm was my reading for this morning.  ” I will curb my tongue…”  Good words for me!

Psalm 39

For Jeduthun, the choir director: A psalm of David.

1
    I said to myself, “I will watch what I do
        and not sin in what I say.
    I will curb my tongue
        when the ungodly are around me.”
2
    But as I stood there in silence–
        not even speaking of good things–
        the turmoil within me grew to the bursting point.
3
    My thoughts grew hot within me
        and began to burn,
        igniting a fire of words:
4
    “LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
        Remind me that my days are numbered,
        and that my life is fleeing away.
5
    My life is no longer than the width of my hand.
        An entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
       

Interlude
human existence is but a breath.”

6
    We are merely moving shadows,
        and all our busy rushing ends in nothing.
        We heap up wealth for someone else to spend.
7
    And so, Lord, where do I put my hope?
        My only hope is in you.
8
    Rescue me from my rebellion,
        for even fools mock me when I rebel.
9
    I am silent before you; I won’t say a word.
        For my punishment is from you.
10
    Please, don’t punish me anymore!
        I am exhausted by the blows from your hand.
11
    When you discipline people for their sins,
        their lives can be crushed like the life of a moth.
       

Interlude
Human existence is as frail as breath.

12
    Hear my prayer, O LORD!
        Listen to my cries for help!
        Don’t ignore my tears.
    For I am your guest–
        a traveler passing through,
        as my ancestors were before me.
13
    Spare me so I can smile again
        before I am gone and exist no more.

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Patience Please!!

Today was my last day of work this week.  Wedding preparations and events are going to occupy my time for the next few days up till Sunday.  Tonight Sara and I did some more baking.  Tomorrow will be housecleaning and stuff like that.  All stuff that in all honesty I mostly hate doing.  Especially the housecleaning.  I am not sure how some people like doing it.  I like a clean and tidy house but I hate the work – I think it is partly an organizational thing and that is not my forte so I do a lot of spinning my wheels. 

The other thing that I am not good at is having a lot of people around.  They encroach on my space and I begin to feel trapped.   I feel like there is no where I can go to just be by myself.  And I am worse when I am anticipating the full house than when my house is actually full of people.  I manage fairly well once they are all here – it is never as bad as I anticipated.  But I never seem to deal with this well.

So tonight has not been a good night.  I have had one little meltdown and I hate that.  I know why I get so uptight but it seems as if knowing is not enough to handle things.  I just can’t seem to keep my feelings from exploding at the wrong people at the wrong time.  And I live with a bunch of extroverts who do not “know” how I feel and never will be able to really.  And there is always a bunch of stuff that would be fun to do and that I would like to be in on, so I probably take on more than I should say yes to.  And then one of the extrovert social types that I live with will suggest having a friend over who shouldn’t be any trouble at all and I explode.

It’s stupid really and I hate when it happens.  And after my little rant at everybody in my way then I end up having to apologize.  But I am afraid sometimes that in my wild and rabid state that I probably hurt the very ones I love the most.  This is the me I most dislike!

Maybe I will have gotten most of this out of my system and the rest of the weekend will be wonderful.  I want it to be a very happy occaision for my kids.  And if it is stressful for me, it must be way more so for them.

Oh! God, give me a very large, extra big helping of patience with everyone around me!

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Remembering … and Forgeting

I recently bought a book of poetry called Divine Inspiration; The Life Of Jesus in World Poetry by R. Atwan, G. Dardess and P. Rosenthal.  It follows the New Testament accounts of Jesus’s life and teachings in fairly chronological order from birth to death, resurection and ascension.  It is not your usual sappy kind of poetry that one often sees in a “Christian” book.  And the poets are from around the globe including a couple famous Canadians – Atwood and Leonard Cohen.  The diversity of the authors struck me as well as the quality of the expression. 

In the book I found a couple of poems by Léopold Sédar Senghor.  If you are not familiar with Senghor, he studied to be a priest in colonial Senegal, went on to study in Paris and chose to follow a career in writing and poetry rather than in the priesthood.  When Senegal gained it’s independance, Senghor was elected President.  He continued to write and was elected to the French Academy – the first African to do so –  in 1983. 

He writes in French of course.  The poem I would like to share with you was translated from the French by Melvin Dixon.  The poem speaks not of the great world wars, but of the oppression that the African continent has known.  It was written more to speak to the promise of “Peace on Earth” offered by Jesus at Christmas time than to speak to the promise of the ending of war that we think of at Remembrance Day. 

Much of todays conflict is taking place in Africa.  We need to remember that continent and the millions whose lives have been lost or devastated by war in this area of the world. 

And as we remember we, like Senghor, need to learn to forget the wrongs inflicted on us by our enemies.  Maybe then we would have a chance to have “Peace on Earth”.

Snow in Paris     by Léopold Sédar Senghor

 

Lord, you have visited Paris on this day of your birth
Because it has become mean and evil,

You have purified it with incorruptible cold, with white death.

This morning, right up to the factory smokestacks

Singing in unison, draped in white flags-

Peace to Men of Good Will!”

Lord, you have offered the snow of your Peace to a torn world,

To divided Europe and ravaged Spain

And the Catholic and Jewish Rebels have fired their fourteen hundred

Cannons upon the mountain of your Peace.

Lord, I have accepted your white cold, burning hotter than salt.

And now my heart melts like snow in the sun.

 

I forget

The white hands firing the rifles that crumbled our empires,

The hands that once whipped slaves, and that whipped you,

The snowy white hands that slapped you,

The powdery white hands that slapped me,

The firm hands that led me to loneliness and to hate,

The white hands that cut down the forests

Of straight, firm palmyra trees dominating Africa,

In the heart of Africa, like the Sara men,

Handsome as the first men born from your brown hands.

They tore down the black forest to build a railroad,

They cut down Africa‘s forests to save Civilization,

Because they needed human raw materials.

 

Lord, I know I’ll never release this reserve of hatred

For diplomats who show their long canine teeth

And tomorrow trade in black flesh.

My heart, Lord, has melted like the snow on the roofs of Paris

In the sunshine of your gentleness.

It is kind even unto my enemies and unto my brothers

With hands white without snow

Because of these hands of dew, in the evening,

Upon my burning cheeks.

 

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