Monthly Archives: October 2003

A Birthday Not Forgotten

Two years ago today our first grandson was born – Logan.  I can still remember the Monday morning, the c-section since he was in distress, the rushing off to the hospital, me telling my staff as I rushed out the door that I was going to the hospital – I had just heard that the baby would be sent by ambulance to Saskatoon and did I want to se him before he left.  I can still remember the tiny long little guy lying in the incubator, tubes everywhere, oxygen tent around his head, touching his little hands since that was about all there was to do.  Then my son coming in he looking so proud and worried and so full of hope that all would be well, prepared to accept the fact that he might be going to  face raising a very handicapped son because he already loved him.

Logan was born with one of those chromosome abnormalities – Trisomy 18 – rare in a child born to young healthy parents;  to a mom who had taken every precaution she could to have a healthy baby.  Trisomy 18 is not compatible with life.  Logan’s life was short – two days.  Two days that changed our relationship with our kids forever.  We saw our son become more of a man as he became a father and had to deal with birth and death all within a few short days.  And we saw our son loving and supporting the woman who bore him this child through this grief. 

Now we have a second grandson three months old.  And another joy for us – one month from today we have a wedding going on! 

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Sunrise to Sunset

The sun is just coming up reflecting gold on the leaves and grass.  The moment will be short lived. Just long enough for the sun to rise over the horizon and the low clouds.  It’s too bad that my kids and maybe kids everywhere aren’t up to see the beauty right now.  Do they notice it?  Or are they too busy with the stuff in their lives to take time to see the beauty God has created around them?

As I write the golden few moments of the sunrise have changed into the light of day – less golden but making everything more clear in general.  I think I like the moment of sunrise best, fleeting as it is.  We need the brighter light of day to get stuff done, but the really glorious moments of sunrise and sunset showcase the beauty of the earth and sky.

We have those moments in our lives that we showcase too – the births and the deaths.  Yet they are just that – moments.  We celebrate them with great joy or great sorrow.  Yet in between there is the long stretch of plainness that makes up most of our lives.  We need to learn to live through these dull periods of life searching out the beauty that is there – there but not highlighted.  We need to take the in between moments and create beauty out of them too.

Maybe learning to see the beauty in life is one of the gifts we need to learn to pass on to our children.  We pass on the cynicism and complaining easily enough.  We take great pains to pass on the need to make a living but we don’t teach how to take what they are given and make the living happen.  Because real living involves seeing our world and our lives as things which God has created for his glory.

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Psalm 19

 

Psalm 19
1    The heavens tell of the glory of God.
        The skies display his marvelous craftsmanship.
2
    Day after day they continue to speak;
        night after night they make him known.
3
    They speak without a sound or a word;
        their voice is silent in the skies;

4    yet their message has gone out to all the earth,
        and their words to all the world.
    The sun lives in the heavens
        where God placed it.
5
    It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom
        after his wedding.
    It rejoices like a great athlete
        eager to run the race.
6
    The sun rises at one end of the heavens
        and follows its course to the other end.
        Nothing can hide from its heat.
7
    The law of the LORD is perfect,
        reviving the soul.
    The decrees of the LORD are trustworthy,
        making wise the simple.
8
    The commandments of the LORD are right,
        bringing joy to the heart.
    The commands of the LORD are clear,
        giving insight to life.
9
    Reverence for the LORD is pure,
        lasting forever.
    The laws of the LORD are true;
        each one is fair.
10
    They are more desirable than gold,
        even the finest gold.
    They are sweeter than honey,
        even honey dripping from the comb.
11
    They are a warning to those who hear them;
        there is great reward for those who obey them.
12
    How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?
        Cleanse me from these hidden faults.
13
    Keep me from deliberate sins!
        Don’t let them control me.
    Then I will be free of guilt
        and innocent of great sin.
14
    May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
        be pleasing to you,
        O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.

 This Psalm was part of my daily readings for yesterday.  And the day fit the psalm.

As I have been thinking about it, I can picture David on a day as he describes in the psalm, maybe with the hot sun in the sky, sitting somewhere contemplating God in the midst of the nature all around him.  Sort of like I was doing while I was out walking yesterday.  God’s majesty is easy to see in nature some days.

Then I think David is brought back to his relationship with the Creator, his God.  The God that knows him and what he is really like, and David knows he needs to constantly seek forgiveness and he needs God’s presence to keep him from his sins – both the unwilled and the willed ones  – just like we do.

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A long weekend Monday

Today was a quiet and sort of lazy day for me and I enjoyed every minute of it.  It is nice to have an extra day to the weekend.

This morning I started out with meeting with some friends to discuss the third chapter in Phillip Yancy’s book The Jesus I Never Knew  over breakfast.  It was good – both the breakfast and the time together. 

When I got back home it was almost noon and only Sara was home.  Her “boyfriend”  came over and they didn’t seem to need my company.  So I spent some time cleaning up some garden stuff and then decided to go out to the Little Red River Park for a hike through the woods.

The wind over the past week has pretty much stripped most of the leaves off the trees.  They were crunchy underfoot.  The colours are quickly changing from bright oranges and yellows to dull and dusty greys but the sky is clear and bright blue today and the temperatures are still warm.  Beautiful day to be out walking. 

I have posted some of my pictures of autumn under photos on my side bar.  Hope you enjoy them! 

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Thankfulness

 

I guess this will be the big theme for this weekend for us Canadians.  You Americans can pick it up later on when we are already gearing up for Christmas.    Our Wal Marts are just one step ahead of yours.

 

I don’t gush thankfulness.  Oh, there are times when I am full of thanks and it bubbles out but they are the times when some big event has just turned out as I would like it to.  Most of the time my thanks is for smaller more ordinary things.  The things that go on and make life what it is.  The things that give my life direction and meaning.

 

Just this morning, I was thankful for the sun on the golden leaves.  Thankful for the good cup of coffee in my hand as I watched the sun come up.  Thankful for the good nights sleep, a warm house and a comfortable and safe bed to sleep in.  For the place that I call home where I feel safe, where I can relax, where I can sit at my computer with it’s high speed access and communicate at ease across the globe. 

 

I’m thankful that I have family that are important to me and to whom I am important too.   I’m even thankful that they need me and feel at ease enough with me secure enough that I love them to unload some of their burdens on me.  And I am thankful that I can pass on their needs to God.  And that he listens to me and helps me carry whatever burdens I have picked up.

 

I am thankful for the work I have to do.  Not everyone has a career they enjoy.  Not everyone has seen God work through them as they practice their line of work seeing God use what I have to offer is a blessing indeed to be thankful for.

 

I am thankful for friends.  I am thankful for the mutual love and care we can give each other.   And I’m thankful that I can make new friends and that some friendships grow and become deep and meaningful.  I am thankful that I am married to my best friend and that our marriage is still full of love and mutual respect.

 

I am thankful for my senses and that all are still working adequately.  As I start to see the changes that age makes, the senses of sight and hearing, touch, smell and taste become more precious.  I can’t count on things lasting forever so I will be thankful for each day that I have them.  And every day that I can still think and react appropriately, I will be thankful for my mind; for the ability to learn new concepts and skills, for the pleasures of reading and listening to music and laughter at a good joke.

 

 The list could go on at length because there are so many things that I live with each day that I need to appreciate and give thanks for.  So many little things I live with and assume will go on and on when I know that they cannot.   So I will give thanks for each day I am given, for each moment of good health, for each moment when my mind is clear, for each moment when I can move around on my own, and in my times of distress, for each time when God shows me my utter dependence on him. 

 

I will thank God for his never ending provision of all I need. 

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Look what I found

Checking out some links from Vivid, I came across this version of the Lords Prayer – in language only a post-modern could (might be able to) appreciate.  Thanks to Brianna at her site.

Let us Pray.

An Other who art in nothing
Narrative is thy (language) game
Thy societal construct is
No more or less real than any other
Give us this moment our perceptions
And deconstruct our stories
As we deconstruct those who out-narrate us
Lead us not into metanarrative
But deliver us from (un) reality
For thine is the societal construct
From interlude to interlude
Nihil

~Edward Green

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Thank You God For the Food

Kids are coming home for the long weekend.  At least some are.  Others have gone to special things far away and Leo is down south – visiting his brother, waiting to pick Grace up again and bring her home.

Here, we will head over to my dad and stepmom’s for Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday.  So I guess I will be going home to my parents too!

Kids come home carrying big loads sometimes.  Not just the dirty laundry either!  That I could deal with.  The emotional loads are a lot harder to deal with.  And I can’t just lug them off to the washer and get them all cleaned up.  Sometimes it is hard to even get them to open up their hampers of problems to help them sort it out.  Sometimes I don’t want them opening up their stinky hampers!  I just want a nice weekend.

Kids live complicated lives.  I wish I could help them to see things through brighter lenses.  But then I realize, I am probably not even looking at the same picture.  We are different generations and I will never understand some of what they see because it is unrecognizable from my angle.  Sometimes my angle is experience but sometimes it is just that I belong to an older culture and the world now is spinning more out of control.  It gives me a feeling of helplessness because I would like to fix things for them and I can’t.

God,

I wish I could do some of your work for you.

I see so many hurting people around

And you didn’t gift me with the powers

Of speech.  So

I stay silent.

But I see,

And I feel.

I hear them crying out

But am helpless

To help.

 

God,

Why does life have to dish out

Such inequitable portions?

The young and inexperienced ones

Get loaded down with

Depression,

Anxiety,

Stress.

Having their hopes,

Their dreams,

Crushed.

 

God,

I don’t like it but feel too old

To give advice, because I know

That I can’t fix it either.

You working out

Your plans

For them.

But God,

Give them

A vision, a sign

Of you.

 

And God,

Give me a vision again too.

I don’t like this starved feeling,

I need to feed with you too.

And I need

Extra

To share

With the kids

You’ve

Seated

Around my table.

 

Thank you God for the food.

 

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