Daily Archives: October 25, 2003

Two Steps Back

When I get very frustrated and can’t handle any more I need to withdraw to a solitary place – to some place where I can reorder my thoughts.  Sometimes this lets me rethink my reactions to situations and react more appropriately.  Being in a quiet place surrounded by nature lets me reconnect with God as well and usually these times are when I need his wisdom the most.  I guess you could say that I go to a place of prayer even though I may not speak to God – in words anyways.  Sometimes just sitting in his presence is enough to revive my worn out spirit. 

Today was one of those days.  I didn’t expect it to be.  It started out great – planning for a worship and prayer event and then spending some time with friends at the church ladies craft fair and bake sale.  I was even  getting my grocery shopping done.

Then I got the phone call.  Over reaction and anger, frustration and flying off the handle.  Not being able to see that her misjudging of time needed has led to upsetting several people and then not being able to graciously handle the situation – because she cannot see her own fault in the matter – cannot appologize. 

And then I get caught in the middle!  And I end up feeling like crap just because I happen to be the mother of the “child” who is no longer a child. I might as well have been in on the fight the way I end up feeling. 

So I escaped to the riverbank.  I won’t be able to do that much longer.  Things are becoming very grey and tonight they are wet and who knows – but I expect soon they will be very cold and snowy.

So today was one of those one step forward, two steps backwards kind of days.  Sunday tomorrow.  Maybe I’ll regain some footage.  I need to.

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