Out Foul Spots

She did it!  She evicted her roommates!  Mind you now she has to live with the consequences of that and look for a new roommate.  But they lied to her, basically stole her car for a day and have not paid their share of the expenses.  So tomorrow she has to give up her phone and the internet.  And she has some other utility bills that were not paid that she has to pick up all on her own. 

Not only did her living arrangements fall apart, but she got turned down for her student loan.  Because of her learning disability she was only allowed to carry a reduced course load and all the necessary documentation was sent.  Somehow the case for a reduced course load did not get communicated to the loans officer, so now there is a lot more waiting and explaining.  This in itself is hard for a person who has an attention defficit.  There is so much frustration that it just about destroys their ability to cope and she wants to give up and begins to lose hope of ever making it in life.

This is my daughter that knows how to reach bottom and then dig a bit deeper till she hits bedrock.  I sometimes wonder when she will reach that point.  She is trying so hard to make it but has so many obstacles to contend with – learning disabilities and her own difficult to live with self.  I wish she would learn how precious she is in my sight and more importantly in God’s sight and learn to like herslf as well.  She gets pretty down when her life starts to disintigrate in front of her eyes. 

I can’t “fix” it all.  Really all I can do is try and listen.  And not reinforce the feelings that she is “too dumb” to try to do what she is doing.  And not get angry and tell her that she is responsible for most of her own problems.  And try to be patient and then try again when I’m not.  And pray and pray and pray.  Then help her pick up the pieces and glue them back together with what little love I can muster at the time and hope that life doesn’t deal her another blow too soon.

I wish I could go back to when she was little and try and do this whole life experience over!

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