My weekends are usually an oasis in my week – I don’t have the same old routine and the responsibilities change. I am beginning to think that my week of work is my oasis, not the weekend.
This weekend went from crisis to — I don’t know what. Last night was good. We had a good time sharing together at our study. We were looking at the temptation of Jesus in the fourth chapter of Yancy’s book The Jesus I Never Knew. I do not like “free will”. However, that said, if I didn’t have free will, I guess I wouldn’t even be able to rebel against it. Anyway, the reason I hate free will so much right now is that my kids and I get ourselves into all of our troubles because we are so self willed and I wish I had someone right now who would make me do things right – ’cause I don’t seem to do a good job on my own. So even after sharing my difficulties as a parent with some other parents who also shared that they make just as many mistakes as I do, I came home and ended up being unnecessarily harsh on another one of my kids.
And I am supposed to be the adult with self control! I am going to have to do some appologizing today because I care about her even when it doesn’t look like it or sound like it. And I want her to learn that becoming an adult(growing up) is not about being(or becoming) perfect but has more to do with asking forgiveness and trying again. I don’t want her to see me as a hypocrite thinking that I am perfect when it is so obvious to her that I am not. I don’t know how obvious it is to her that I know I am not perfect but I hope it is obvious to her, or becomes obvious, that I love her – even when I blow it as a parent and have to appologize to her.
So, off I go to my work oasis where I won’t have to deal with my kids till …