Daily Archives: August 29, 2003

Listen To Me God!

Listen to Me God!                                             Linea Lanoie

 

Listen to me God!

I guess a woman hardly has the right

To address the Almighty

Like one of her children.

But I would just like to know

Why, when I ask for

The grace to treat others

As if You were the one

Delivering the goods,

I come so far short of doing it!

 

Do You watch me

With amusement or sadness in Your eyes

As I try to emulate Your ways

Like a bird with clipped wings to fly?

I just can’t imagine why,

When I try so hard in all sincerity,

I make such a mess of

Trying to follow You,

Like a child with legs too short

Stumbling in Your steps.

 

Forgive my boldness

But I really would like to achieve

That level of godliness

Reflecting You

That some of Your saints attain.

But the harder it gets as I try.

Is it that the path gets steeper

As I near the top ?

My weary heart asks

Am I close at all?

 

So hold me up Lord

I am tired from the climb

And my spirit thirsts

For answers from You.

There is nowhere else to turn.

And if the answers that You whisper in my ear

Are not clear for now

Help me to believe and follow

So that all my stumbling steps

Stay on Your path for me.

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In This Place

 

Day slips silently, softly into night

As the night breeze caresses my face.

A loon’s haunting cry echoes between the hills.

Golden fire upon the water

Reflects the setting sun,

Its image undulating

With the small wake of a fishing boat

Coming in to dock.

 

 

In the beauty of this place,

In the silence of these green hills

And colours of His wild grown garden,

God the Creator, Friend, Sustainer

Sits with me,

Speaks to me,

Filling the empty voids in my spirit

With his.

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Deeper

I want to go deeper God.

I want to go in

To the Holy of Holies

To the place where you shine.

And have my face  reflect you.

 

But, I cower in the dimness outside

The veil that you rent.

Too afraid, too tightly

Clinging to my self.

Chains on my feet.

 

If I push the torn curtain aside

Take one faltering step

There’ll be no return

To the familiar dark rooms

Where I’ve been.

 

Held back by my own expectations

All I think I should be

It is hard to imagine

How I would look

Unshackled, free.

 

Oh! Tear the curtain down Lord!

Erase my sin!

Free me from those tainted laws

That bind my feet,

And bring me deeper in.

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Rage

I’ve always though that poetry should deal with things of beauty.

Not rage.

Perhaps it is because beauty is such a quickly passing condition.

It can be so easily destroyed.

Cut down the forest.

Pollute the air,

And water.

Disfigure the child.

Take away his right to play.

 

Things of beauty when seen up close take on another look.

Decay within.

An insect boring to the centre of the great elm

Algae ‘neath the surface of the pool

Smoke in the cloudless sky

The willful child,

Voluptuous

A broken soul stolen too young.

Beauty tampered with leads quickly to rage.

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I Cannot Comprehend

I Cannot Comprehend

 

It is impossible to comprehend

The weight of these atrocities

On my heart and mind

I cannot, I cannot comprehend

The difference, the value lost

From being small and black.

These are my people

Does no one care?

 

How can one become so crazed

As to crush a babies skull?

In wanton luxury

Of all that is evil

Kill innocence?

 

Is the life of a small black child

So dispensable as not to

Matter at all

In the eyes of the economies

Of our world?

 

What value do we put on restraint

When those we are watching

Are mad crazed for blood

Schooled and incited

To butchery?

 

It is impossible to comprehend!

The weight of these atrocities

Eats at my heart and mind.

I cannot, I cannot comprehend.

My anger ferments into rage

As governments procrastinate

Their pain too shallow.

The child is not their own.

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What Creates the Desire?

All my life I have struggled with the knowledge that I needed to study the Bible vs my lack of motivation to do so on a consistant basis.  I would become inspired – for a short time – and then my enthusiasm would disipate.

I can remember subscribing to a young Christian magazine which helped me to maintain my Bible reading momentum for a while.  Then it gradually petered out.  Sometimes it would rekindle, like a hot spot rekindles after a wild forest fire.  It would sometimes be ignited by an interesting study or topic that would catch my interest. But the fire seemed easily dampened down again. 

Worst of all, I knew better.  I knew that I needed this contact with God to grow.  But it was hard to maintain the interest.  I just didn’t long for God’s word that much.  I wanted him to be there but other stuff got in the way of my needing to study what he said. 

This situation didn’t change much the whole time from young adulthood til this past year.  Being a missionary does not mean that you are any more likely to be a student of the word of God than any other Christian.  

Then all of a sudden something seems to have happened.  I became more and more aware that I needed help dealing with some of the struggles my kids were going through.  So I got some help.  Leo and I did some serious talking, God provided a wise counselor and some significant stuff happened, like my decision to spend a lot of time in prayer for my family.  Somehow God stepped in – I asked him of course but that had happened before without a lot of change on my part. 

I am still trying to figure out what on earth made the change happen. How do you get from empty to full?  How does an unquenchable thirst develope?   How do I keep it from going away?  Because I don’t want it to.  Ever.  It would be like losing my life. 

So I guess that is where I see my community of faith coming in.  It is a place (besides here on this blog where you can choose to read or not)where I can express myself and be understood, where my faith should be challenged and built stronger, where my hunger for knowing more of God should be fed.  A place that will give me a launching pad out into the world I work and live in.  And thanks to some of you out in the blogesphere who, though you are far away geographically, are also becoming part of my supportive community of faith.

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