Sometimes I just wish we could be left alone to enjoy our good reading without having to analyze if it is “Christian ” or not. Most of what I read is probably not Christian but it is either enjoyable, makes me think or I learn something from it or it won’t get read. Most of what I read is really boring work related stuff – Essentials of Facial Growth – for example. So please indulge me a bit of pleasure!
All my life I have thrived on reading fantasy – Superman, The Borrowers, Alice in Wonderland, C.S. Lewis’s books(all of them), Madeleine L’Engel’s books and Tolkein. I have shared the magic of them with my kids. Funny, but the kids who enjoyed the fantasy books with me the most are the ones with the faith in God.
I think my faith was also shaped by these books. I learned to love the mystical and there is a lot of mystery in what God has done for us. I learned to see God in my surroundings, to understand that there is a lot more to life than just the seen and the touchable things. Reading these books helped me to see that I was not alone in this type of experience. I looked for the evidence of God in such books and I was not disappointed. I would like my children to experience this too so I encourage them to read and then we talk.
Sometimes it is really hard to be a mother. I want too much for and from my kids and maybe I expect just too much from them. I would love to have more harmony among all of them. I would love to see more responsible decisions made. I would like them to be more perfect. But I really don’t seem to have much control some days. Do you know what I mean? Some days I seem to be on their cases all the time and I think I must come across as an invader into their lives rather than a nurturer. I wish it were easier to parent well! I am constantly having to give them back into Gods hands when I realize I am grasping them too tightly. I think I am a pretty easy going mother but it is hard to back off, let God do his thing in their lives, when I see things going on that I don’t like!
Teach me God to trust you to care for them and at the same time to listen for your guidance as to when to intervene since you have given me the job of being a mother to all of them.
Today was downloading time for pictures. Some are good and some so-so. Michelle, Eric’s wife, is a much better photographer than I am. The lighting was not good for many of the pictures and sometimes the subjects were on the move. Patrick got his diploma and had a good time with his friends. He relates well to the exchange students so here are some of them: right to left: Cyril, the Canadian(not an exchange student); Andreas, the Dane; Felix, Indonesian; Patrick, Congolese(also not an exchange student). Some other pictures are here too if you want to link to them. At family supper , Patricks graduating class , Patrick Kongawi and Michelle Sewap , Patrick and Cyril sing
Life seems to rollercoaster between extremes at our house. If we have one person extremely happy it seems we have another extremely depressed at the same time. I think I stated in one of my past blogs that if my kids were perfect then I wouldn’t need God so desperately. I don’t know what he is trying to tell me this time but I need him desperately again – in fact there is hardly a day goes by that that is not true.
My oldest son and his wife were up for Patricks grad and it was a good thing to have them come. They got to share in the happiness of the one kid and help me out with the other.
I need to spend some quality time with God today because I think I have a tough time ahead with a couple of kids and I need him and I need wisdom.
Today begins the festivities. Patrick is graduating from High School. He still writes one last final today – French. He should do well in this one and I noticed that he sat with a beer(he is 19) in front of the TV last night instead of at the dining room table in front of his books. Tonight is the Grad Mass at St. Mary’s, tomorrow is off except for parents who are doing stuff like decorating, etc. And then Saturday is the big day with ceremonies in the morning and the big dance at night – then the all night party. Patrick’s uncle is not coming and although Patrick doesn’t say much I think he is disappointed. Patricks father cannot come and for that he is really disappointed but can’t do much about it. He does us the honor of calling us Mom and Dad so Leo and I will go with pride and pleasure. Maybe we will throw some pictures up here later.
All of us will be glad that school is over for another year. It will give us all a breather from the routines. Then we can start getting ready for the camps and CHIC and summer work that keep the kids busy during the summer. I am going to try and take a couple of days for myself somewhere out of the vacation time I will have in August – maybe find myself a quiet spot to hole up, read and rest. And come the middle of July I will be a Grandma so that will be exciting. I hope I won’t be one of those grandparents that is too busy to take time to get to know their grandchildren.
God continues to surprise me with stuff from his word. I wish I had developed this thirstiness for it years ago. I find there is so much I wish I knew better, understood better. At least it is never too late to start digging in deeper.
I finished reading through Romans and decided to go back and re-read one of the Gospels. I haven’t read through Matthew for awhile so it was chosen. So of course it starts out with the genealogy of Jesus. I realize this was of utmost importance to the Jewish people. It struck me that Matthew lists all of the male ancestors of Joseph – throwing in a few good women like Ruth and Rahab. Then along comes Mary – mother of Jesus – only related to all those men through her marriage to Joseph. And to top it all off – Joseph isn’t even Jesus’ biological father. Am I missing some link here? Help all you theologians who know such things!
Mary must have offered herself up to God with no strings attached. An incredible woman allowing God to use her to fulfill his destiny and make a way for us total strangers, thousands of years down the road to come to him as God, Father and friend. I wonder what she thought. It seems she kept most of her thoughts to herself. I wonder what she and her teenaged son sat and talked about and how much she understood? Maybe you can tell I have teenagers that sometimes I don’t understand at all and often wonder where God can be leading them.
Kevin at thehomelessguy.net is an interesting guy to read. He has posted some interesting links and one in particular caught my eye called Hidden Homeless I guess partly because I see the kind of dental needs the author describes in the article in the high needs kids on our much smaller city. These kids are not necessarily “homeless” in the technical sense. Most of them have homes of some sort but are very transient so never stay in one place long enough to get complete care and never build up a relationship with a dentist. Their parents may never have had much for care and chances are unless the cycle is broken, their children won’t be much better off. In a way I think the lack of dental care is just a symptom of much more urgent problems – like insufficient shelter and food, sometimes addictions in the parents and sometimes just fatigue on the part of parents who have too few resources and too little energy to do a good job of parenting. Most adolescents with poor dental health also have other hygiene issues and I think they just don’t see themselves as someone worth spending time on. That feeling, I suppose becomes a vicious circle and then they will have kids that don’t feel very good about themselves.