Monthly Archives: May 2003

Lost Memories

It was a unique experience taking my father and step mom to Saskatoon this afternoon for a doctors appointment. My Dad has Alzheimers and has had for a few years now. But today he seemed to have a big deterioration and so it really hit home how much of him we have lost already. I guess I am grieving the loss of a big part of him. He was always a person for whom I had a great deal of respect – intelligent, able to put a lot of stuff together in his mind, compassionate, patient, well respected in the community both for his work with special education when it was a brand new field, for the Christian counseling agency which he initiated and for his role as a pastor. Now he needs help to find the passages of scripture in a Bible study and gets lost in his own neighborhood. As I watched the doctor examine him so many thoughts and memories came into my head and I thought to myself “Doctor, do you know who this man is that you are examining? This is one of the most intelligent men I know. He’s my Dad. He may be housed in a very old and crumpled body and mind now but he was every bit your match at one time.” The doctor was good, the visit reassuring to me as he explained that part of his problem may be related to the new medication and that made a lot of sense to me.
We went and had supper before heading back up to Prince Albert. Driving back as we watched the sun set Dad started to sing the words of a song I hadn’t heard for a long time “Day is dying in the west, Heaven is touching earth with rest…” We talked about some old memories of mine and it didn’t really matter that two seconds after he couldn’t remember anymore – I do. Love you Dad.

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Filed under Dealing with stuff

Sedation Day

Well tonight I am tired. I got up at 4:00 am to drive Sara to catch the van for her school trip to Drumheller. Oh the joys of being in a small school! The whole class of 10 grade 8’s talked the teachers into taking a small detour from Drumheller to Calgary so they could go up the Tower(to make the trip of some educational value) and then go to the Chinook Mall for shopping, then back to Drumheller for more educational stuff. Quelle priviledge d”etre dans une ecole francaise! (Not sure how to get the accents into a blogging site). Anyways, once a person is up at that beautiful hour of the day and work starts in less than four hours, there isn’t’ much to do but stay up.

Today was “sedation day” at work. My assistants hate it and I can’t say that I love it all that much either but somehow trying to treat under sedation seems a better choice than having the child wait the year or so it takes to get them in for a general anaesthetic when they are in pain. Today we had one real good experience out of five. Aside from the extremely hard work of holding onto a small body, wriggling, full of energy, while doing something as precise as a filling, being spit on and bit, today went as well as could be expected. The medication may erase their memories of the experience but not mine or their mothers. I wish there were more general anaesthesia facilities or more hospital time, or maybe just parents who knew how to look after their kids in such a way as to actually spare them the agony of rotten and abscessed teeth. If anyone out there reading this has children Please don’t let them be constantly eating snacks or pop and juice and please brush their teeth for them -whether they like it or not starting from the day the first tooth comes in. It’s just part of loving your kids. That is the word from my soap box today.

Sometimes it would be easier not to work on kids but I can’t escape that part of my calling. Maybe its the fact that they hurt too often because we adults just haven’t cared enough, or been too tired or too wrapped up in our own problems to do a good job of being parents. They are the innocent victims. Maybe it’s the guilt from having inflicted some hurt on my own children. God forgive us parents. Help us to keep trying to love and do the right thing for our children and all the children you put in our lives.

I also have to celebrate with another of my kids tonight. She won first yesterday in the Midget 100 meter dash for her school(St Mary High School) and today won her heat in the city track meet and placed fourth over all. She came up with second place since it was a competition between the public and separate schools. Way to go, Grace!

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Happy B'Day

Last night we as a family celebrated Leo’s birthday. He actually has one more day left as a younger man. We have this thing about his age since I am a whole two months older than him. I think I was as excited about giving him his gift as he was in receiving it. Before Christmas I discovered in a used bookstore in Saskatoon a copy of Stanley’s In Darkest Africa. Over 100 years old and still in almost perfect condition. A great indulgence but he is a Bibliophile and it’s about Africa.

I seem to be running into all sorts of references about age. Maybe it’s just birthdays and then watching my own dad wear out. At times I feel restricted because I know I am getting older – my body tells me so. But I would like to preserve an open outlook on life, not become too set in my ways as I see some older folks becoming.
So here I read in Psalm 92: 14-15

Even in old age they will still produce fruit;
they will remain vital and green.
They will declare,” The Lord is just!
He is my rock!
There is nothing but goodness in him!”

I guess I hope I am still vital and green for awhile yet.

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Filed under Day to Day

Quote on Racism

I read a good quote today by Dan Stover of the New York Times in the Readers Digest.
“At the genetic level, race doesn’t exist. Studies of human DNA have found far more genetic variability between individuals within a “racial “group than between two such groups.”

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A Lazy Day

Psalms 90:12 and 14
Teach us to make the most of our time so that we may grow in wisdom…
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.

Today was a fairly lazy day so I don’t know how well I made use of my time. So I don’t suppose I’m much wiser today either!

Went over to visit my dad. He seems to have had a TIA today around noon. Leo went over, checked him out and started him on aspirin. He was better this evening which is typical. His loss of memory over the last few years makes him hardly the same person as his thoughts are very confused. He’s still the dad that held me on his knee, prayed with me as I invited Christ in, taught me to ride a bike and drive a car, married Leo and I and loved and prayed for me all my life. I suspect God can still follow his wandering thoughts and put them together for him. Praise be to God for his neverending love to us. Keep Dad in your care, God.

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The Hurt of Indifference

“A burden will lessen after time but a calling will intensify over time.” p.95 God Whispers by Margaret Feinberg

I spent a lot of time last night listening to my son agonize over the war in the Congo. He is hurt by the passion he has for his own people and the indifference of most everyone around him. He doesn”t know how to handle his passions for his land. He wants to know what he can do to solve the problems. He wants to go back and fix things. He is like a fish out of water and he is having a hard time breathing this Canadian air. He wants to wake the world up. I am afraid he will be hurt by the indifference to his passion by his high school peers.

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Filed under Dealing with stuff

Grow Me God

It is early in the morning still and the house is quiet. The sun shines and the geese sit on the sandbar in the river in front of our house. The wind has died down considerably from yesterday so maybe today will bear the promise of spring and warmth that the May long weekend should bring. That will mean yardwork! Not that I really mind – its just the getting started. It feels good when I’m out there doing it.

I love spending time with God in the early morning on a beautiful day like this. Amazing that the Creator of all this beauty is listening to me.

OhGod!
The sun rises and brings warmth
To the dormant earth.
The birds return
Their calls announce the spring.
You whisper
And my heart hears.
Your love surrounds me
Like the light of the new day.
Like the sun calling the growing buds
You call me to yourself.
Infuse me with your life
Grow me.

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