Lost Memories

It was a unique experience taking my father and step mom to Saskatoon this afternoon for a doctors appointment. My Dad has Alzheimers and has had for a few years now. But today he seemed to have a big deterioration and so it really hit home how much of him we have lost already. I guess I am grieving the loss of a big part of him. He was always a person for whom I had a great deal of respect – intelligent, able to put a lot of stuff together in his mind, compassionate, patient, well respected in the community both for his work with special education when it was a brand new field, for the Christian counseling agency which he initiated and for his role as a pastor. Now he needs help to find the passages of scripture in a Bible study and gets lost in his own neighborhood. As I watched the doctor examine him so many thoughts and memories came into my head and I thought to myself “Doctor, do you know who this man is that you are examining? This is one of the most intelligent men I know. He’s my Dad. He may be housed in a very old and crumpled body and mind now but he was every bit your match at one time.” The doctor was good, the visit reassuring to me as he explained that part of his problem may be related to the new medication and that made a lot of sense to me.
We went and had supper before heading back up to Prince Albert. Driving back as we watched the sun set Dad started to sing the words of a song I hadn’t heard for a long time “Day is dying in the west, Heaven is touching earth with rest…” We talked about some old memories of mine and it didn’t really matter that two seconds after he couldn’t remember anymore – I do. Love you Dad.

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